Sex Sells

I am going to try my hardest to keep this from sounding snide, rude, and/or too offensive, but to be honest I've got a bone to pick with society. Normally, I wouldn't complain about something like this because I don't typically take to heart what the people around me say (unpopular opinion: safe spaces are stupid, most people are way too sensitive, and the internet is festering with way too much misplaced offense). This opinion seems to be so prevalent, though, that it has finally sunk through my thick skin and managed to piss me off. What's got me so puffed up? The whole idea behind the logic of "sex sells". Yes. It does. Very well. However, for me, the idea that I could ever want to sell my brand, my name, my books, my writing that I put so much time, effort and energy into just on the merit of having a pretty face is infuriating!

"You're pretty so you'll get tons of likes/followers in no time."
"Show a little skin and you'll earn yourself plenty of devoted fans!"
"You've got all this stuff going on pertaining to the writing stuff, but have you tried posting more pictures of yourself?"

These are all direct quotes from people I know and care about. These were their responses to me telling them about all of the hard work I've been putting into getting my writing career off the ground. I was appalled by their disregard for all of that and their focus on the most shallow, irrelevant aspect of the whole venture: my personal appearance. This also seems to be the general consensus about how to get most things done nowadays. Slap a pretty woman on the front or put a nearly naked woman in your ad, that'll draw in customers and fans!

The way I look should have no impact on anyone's decision to read my work, follow any of my pages, or support me in any way. It may be my pride spurring me to say this, but I feel that it is degrading to my intelligence and my creativity and skill as a writer for people to think that my success hinges on whether or not I'm"pretty." I never want anyone to look at me and be able to say that I only got where I am because of the way I look.

For all of you who follow me who are yourselves aspiring writers, thinkers, creators, I pray that you know that the way you look doesn't affect your creation. The way you dress, the color/ length/ style of your hair does not make you better or worse at your craft. How well you do your makeup, or how much skin you show should not hinder or advance your success at whatever you're striving to do. And any society or group of people that tries to tell you it does or should is cruel, unfair, and frankly is one that I do not wish to humor. So, don't worry about those flyaway strands escaping from your messy bun as you busily work at your computer. Don't bother fixing your makeup if you don't want. Guys, let your beard grow a few days more without trimming it. Let that one bothersome nose hair be free and wave in the wind if it wants.

Personally, I will spend my days in sweatpants and Uggs when I want. There will be days where I decide that my hair is an untameable beast and just let it fly. I won't fix my makeup or cover up my zits sometimes. I won't worry about having the perfect pose or setup in pictures because MY FACE DOESN'T MATTER.  I will keep creating, and I will keep pushing forward on the merit of my hard work rather than using the "sex sells" technique. Truthfully, I hope to be read and loved long after my hair has turned grey, my skin has gone soft, and my tattoos have become things out of Dahli paintings. That said, here, have a link to my stories. Because now that I've ranted about how I don't want you to look at my face but at my work, you should have the opportunity to look at my work.

WHAT REALLY MATTERS. 

Doing More to Stress Less

Everyone stresses out. Everyone has things on their plate that they have to balance, deadlines they have to meet, assignments they have to complete, and just things that they need to get done. This isn't including all the lovely surprises that life likes to throw into our paths unexpectedly. For me, combating all of this is all about doing more to stress less. There are limitless ways to limit stress, but here are some of my favorites and things that I've been taking advantage of a lot lately.

>Exercise! 
This is the most stereotypical answer to the how to destress question, but for good reason. It works! Being active helps your body to feel better. Personally, stress makes me feel completely worn down, like all I want to do is sleep and never get out of bed. Which can sometimes be great, I'll admit, but I feel better when I'm up and doing something. Not all of the time, of course, but I make time every day for some physical activity. Sometimes this can be as simple as taking a walk, jogging around the neighborhood, or going to my school rec center for a swim in the indoor pool (bit nippy out for a swim, otherwise). Other days, though, when I'm feeling especially rundown, I'll make time to go to the gym and lift weights. There's something delightfully cathartic about picking up heavy things and putting them down again.

>Read! 
This is a multipurpose task for me. Not only does reading help me to brainstorm new story and poem ideas it also helps to chill me out on days when the weight of my stress feels particularly heavy. I use reading with an escapist mentality. Especially on days like today. I've sunk myself into a pit of blissful ignorance from the outside world recently, only to be very irritated and bogged down by the influx of uninformed propaganda and brainwashed sycophantic people that washed in the moment I tuned back in. However, when I got home I dove into the wonderful world of Warren Ellis's Crooked Little Vein. I haven't laughed so hard in a very long time. The world he creates is one that is similar to this one, but so much more interesting and so very very amusing. It was the perfect way for me to deflate my stress this evening. Reading is an opportunity to leave my own world and my stresses behind for another one written in black and white.

>Fur (and Fin and Feather) Babies
Animals, to me, are the most indispensable source of peace and stress release. Without them, being alone is much more lonely than it should be and quiet moments seem just too quiet. I moved into my new house last month with my roommate and friend but was unable to bring my fur babies, Little Bit and Videl. My roommate and I, our schedules are complete opposites of one another. He's working while I'm home and sleeping, and I'm at school when he's awake and home. I missed my kitties more than I could ever imagine possible because I was spending a lot of my time home alone. Once I brought my babies home, though, the whole atmosphere of the house changed. Now, when I need a pick me up I just call them and spend some time cuddling and loving on them because nothing makes me feel better than they do. Even when they yell at me. (Yes, that's my kitty, Videl. She's a bit of a bossy biddy sometimes.)

These are my three favorite stress relievers. All in all, I make at least a little time for all three every day (and a lot for my kitties. They're stingy with my attention!) and it helps me not to lose my mind. I would love to know what you guys do to help come down from a long, hectic, stressful time!

Learning to People

One of the biggest problems I've ever had to deal with is any situation that involves me having to work with other people in any form or fashion. Plain, sweet, and simple: I'm bad at it. I've always been very good at and enjoy working by myself. Working with other people involves having to accommodate and cooperate, things I've never really excelled with. However, I have realized very quickly that a writer is nothing without an audience. How could I ever hope to succeed as a career writer without having a community audience to support me and read my work? At least, this is how I see it. So, for the past month I've been doing all that I can to learn how to people.

I've always been a sort of solitary creature, preferring the quiet company of my cats to the companionship of other people, but I have been branching out! Since kicking off the start of my writing career this has been the biggest struggle I've faced so far. It's not in my nature to talk so much. It's not in my nature to be so open with things that are going on. It's definitely not in my nature to invite others to offer up input and advice. I'm used to doing everything my own way. Many a time I've told people to butt out and let me do things my way. I've learned, though, that that doesn't exactly work. Especially when it comes to the professional side of things concerning my launch. I'm not good at talking to people. I'm not good at advertising or "selling myself" to gain the support of other people.

To remedy this I asked a close friend for help. He has been a huge, totally indispensable part of helping to get my writing career off the ground. So far I have learned how to talk to people in a way that is more friendly and inviting than my normal demeanor, and I have been applying this both to the people I've been lucky enough to speak to online as well as people I have been reaching out to in person. I've also been making it a point to talk to strangers (safely, y'all! No such thing as stranger danger, just dangerous situations with strangers! Don't put yourself into any of those). From talking to people in line at restaurants, in the elevator, or walking between classes, to striking up conversation with fellow classmates before and after class, it's been weird for me to actually be attempting to be social.

Overall, this may not seem like much, but this will all be very important when I will have to talk not only to my audience, but publishers and editors as well. Learning to people (in other words, learning how to better be social) now will help me so much later down the line. Do any of you struggle with similar problems? What have you done to step out of your solo comfort zone? Any suggestions for me as I continue forward?

Progress Report!

The past few weeks have all been exceptionally busy, but this last week has been especially productive. Because this blog is meant to accompany me and document the progress and path of the start of my writing career, with all that has happened, now seemed like the perfect time for a progress report! Starting next week I'll begin doing regularly scheduled updates so that you all can know how things are coming along.

> It's official! I'm a paid writer! My Patreon page launch went amazingly well and I already have two patrons. My total earnings each month are, at the moment, only $22, but it's a damn good start and it's drastically fanned the flames of my motivation. I am getting paid to do what I love most in the world and now I want more than ever to do this as my profession. Though I highly doubt this page will ever be a source of much income, I hope to grow it into a form of supplementary income that will come in handy for writing competition entry fees as well as unexpected expenditures if they should arise.

> Facebook advertising has paid off and the Stationary Brain Vacations page has reached a whopping 142 likes! This number far exceeded my expectations for the small ad campaign  we were running and I am absolutely ecstatic about the number. With the Facebook page I am trying to create a community, a place where people can come together to talk to one another about writing, their favorite books, authors, and stories, and share their own work. It's also another method for me to increase my visibility and advertise myself by sharing links to my Patreon and this blog. I eventually want it to be a very active page, but for now I'll keep feeding interesting links, pictures, and original content to my page followers.

> After starting the 30 Day Blogging Challenge this blog has taken off more than I was ever really expecting it to. Most important about it, I think, is that it has become a way for me to de-stress daily. Writing here is very cathartic! The hope is for this to eventually be where my readers come to interact with me directly. I don't want people to just read my work and be done. I want to hear feedback and know what you all think. This journey is a very personal one for me, as I would like to do this for the rest of my life, and I want you all to be involved.

> Last but not least, as of just a few minutes ago, I launched my Instagram account, because what's a day in the life if there's nothing to see? On the account I will post pictures of what the illustrious life of the one and only ShaeLaLa looks like and give my readers and followers a glimpse into the girl behind the stories. (Find me and follow @shae.lala )

You've all been wonderful so far, and I'm really looking forward to continuing my journey with you on board. Send me a message, drop a like on my Facebook page, share with your friends, check out my Instagram, and most importantly, keep reading! Thanks, lovelies!

Work Through It

Today has just been one of those days. I've felt since I woke up that I've been driving on the left side of the road (I live in the US, so this is a bad thing!) and everything has decided to work against me. But in the midst of the clustercuss, I remembered a lesson that my mom tried time and again to ingrain in my brain growing up. Sometimes, no matter how off a day may be, how terrible you may feel, and even if your tea gets cold (I steeped a cup to take to school with me and by the time I was finished combating my morning and made it to class it was cold *sad face*) sometimes you have to flip life the bird and keep going anyway.  That's my paraphrase of course. My mom would say more along the lines of "Sometimes you just have to work through all of the negativity and obstacles that get thrown your way and hope for better the next day."

Here's what happened. This morning, after a series of unfortunate (and cold) events that must have been a form of karmic punishment for something terrible I did (unknowingly of course), I rebelled against everything inside of me that told me to say "To hell with it!" and go right back to bed... I went to class. Then, exhausted as I was (I've been having trouble sleeping) I didn't nap in the two hours between my first and second classes of the day. Instead, I stayed awake and caught up on secretarial work for my student center that I was behind on due to the onset of Snowmageddon 2016. More karmic punishment ensued during my second class as the student in the desk behind mine spent the entire hour dramatically deep breathing and sighing on the back of my neck. Now, surprising even myself, when I escaped from the hot breath of Mr.McBreathey, I still didn't take advantage of the two hours I had between my second and third classes of the day to nap. Rather, I chose to get ahead in my reading for the next class and do some research into SEO techniques. Finally, after an hour long monotoned exegesis of a single Aristotelian idea, I drove home, listening to the squeal of my brake pads, which apparently decided that a high-pitched screaming song from them would make my day better.

My mother would be proud, I think, if I were to call her up and say, "Guess what I did today!" Because her lesson stuck with me. Today is a day that I think would have been much better if I'd simply listened to the little voice in my head that said, "Go back to bed." However, I kept moving forward. I trudged through the day and have made it to the point where I can sprawl out on my couch with no pants on and listen to the sounds of my favorite YouTuber carry on comically as I work on the chapter I'll be releasing on Wednesday. And, though I don't feel particularly spectacular (got a bit of a tummy ache, actually), I do feel proud of myself that even on such a bad day I can say that I did well and got things done. I adulted well today.

I realize that as an adult there are always going to be days like this one that pop up and do their best to bring me down. I also realize that I won't succeed in any of my adventures if I let them. Achieving my goals is all about keeping this wonderful momentum I've worked up, so I know that it's important for me to brace myself, keep my head up, and work through it.

Maintaining Balance

As an aspiring author, a soon-to-be-graduating college student, an adult with responsibilities (and bills), and a social creature by nature, this last month of really getting started on my career path has made it starkly obvious how hard maintaining balance can be. Despite having made it this far in life, I never before realized the real importance of time management. Until now I have always just done what's necessary to make everything work, even if that meant pulling all nighters or simply deciding that I can forgo the completion of some things in order to finish others. I know now that, especially once things start to kick off spectacularly (I'm hoping for some self-actualizing prophecy here!), just making it work really won't work. Here are some of the things I've started to do now so that by the time they are necessity they will already be habit.

1. Scheduling

I have owned a massive white board calendar for years. I bought it my freshman year of college thinking that I would hang it on the wall above the desk in my dorm, put all of my assignments and due dates on it, and that I would look at it and be reminded every time I sat down to do homework (HW). I never hung the board up, and I never used the desk, choosing instead to do my assignments sprawled out in my bed instead. At the start of this year and the start of my adventure I finally hung it up, eye level over my dresser on the wall in my own home. On it is marked, in different colors of dry erase markers, my self-imposed deadlines for the release of content, books and page numbers for reading assignments from class, and, in the notes section on the side, dates when bills are to be paid and small reminders. "Interview today. Prepare content beforehand!"

2. Deadlines

I am a terrible procrastinator. Since hearing Squidward Tentacles say it when I was very young I've held the mentality "why do today what you can put off til tomorrow?" (Don't get me wrong, I was a procrastinator before watching Spongebob, the show just helped me to put it into words.) Somehow, though, I have managed to be a good noodle through all my years in school and get done all (well, most) of the things I need to get done. However, this has been the motivation behind many a late night cram session and fevered essay writing. It's also been the source of much undue stress for myself.

Since beginning this adventure I've made it a point to set deadlines for myself. It may not seem very important right now, but it will very quickly become a necessity as the school year comes into full swing and I begin adding more writing to my portfolio. (Currently I release content every Wednesday on Patreon, but soon I'll start releasing more, up to possibly three times a week.) I've also given myself pre-deadlines for post dates. My pre-deadline for my Wednesday post content is Tuesday at noon so that I have time enough for a peer to review and edit the work and for me to revise it.

Sticking with these deadlines will relieve some of my stress once I get into the swing of things, and having a set schedule for "work" writing will allow me to more easily plan writing times for school and "work" together.

3. Pre-Planning

Because I am very spontaneous, pre-planning is often the hardest thing for me to do. Be that as it may, in attempting to balance work, school, responsibilities, and a social life I'm learning that planning is the best thing I can possibly do. By setting times aside for myself as times to work on content for specific deadlines and assignmnents, to read for school and pleasure, and leaving myself slots for housework, chores, and free time, I have made my life much easier than it would be if I didn't have a schedule.

For myself, my schedule is fairly malleable. If I am in a rhythm and words are flowing, I may extend my writing time by half an hour to an hour in order to keep that rhythm. (This happened last Monday when the writer's block that had been tormenting me shook loose and I wrote 13 pages of content in a span of two hours, though I'd only planned for one.) The most important thing, though, is that responsibilities trump everything. For now, my due dates for school assignments trump my self-imposed deadlines for content.

The easiest pre-planning method for me has been to make a list each night before I go to bed of all the things I need to accomplish the next day. In the morning I wake up, look over the list, and allot time to complete each task.

~~~~~~~~~~

Overall, these are extremely basic methods of maintaining balance between work, school, adulthood, and play, but they've definitely been working for me so far. My problem will be sticking with them until they become second nature and I don't have to remind myself anymore. What methods do you use to maintain balance in your own adventures? How do you stick with those methods?

The Road So Far

Though my dreams of being a professional writer have been going strong for over 12 years, I didn't truly begin making them a reality until this year. I think it was my impending university graduation that lit a fire of urgency under me and made me dump the rocks out of my pants and start working. I spent years thinking about the questions that surround my career choice. Where do I start? Who should I talk to? Where can I put my work where people will read it? Will I actually make it? The last question will only truly be answered in time, but the answers to the others are endless. Everyone who has made it in this profession has followed their own process and done things their own way to get where they are. Here's what I've done so far.

I started in the place I feel most comfortable: the internet. My logic is that if I can get a wide enough internet fan base then when the time comes for print publication and e-book sales I'll at least have a handful of people willing to buy them. First step on my cyber-crusade was to make an account on Patreon.com. Six months ago I had no idea the site existed, however, when a friend suggested it and I did my research, the premise for it struck me as the perfect way to launch my name and my career. Patreon is a site that continuously funds people who create work over time in the same way that GoFundMe and others like it fund one-time projects. My goal is not for Patreon to be my main source of income forever, or at all. I want to make enough money from my account there to pay for entry into writing competitions across the nation. The prizes for these writing competitions are often monetary, but more importantly many of the prizes include publication or publication within a larger collection or literary magazine. (To see a list of some of the available competitions click HERE.) This page is also where I have been showcasing and posting my writing to the public for the first time. I began a new story specifically for the page and have been working on being more routine with my writing by setting myself post deadlines and making a schedule for upcoming posts. (I don't normally do well with strict schedules, but it's definitely something I'll need get used to!)

Once my Patreon page was launched my next step was figuring out how I was going to get traffic to the site as well as convince people that they want to support me in my venture enough to give me money. Thus the Stationary Brain Vacations blog was born. This blog is the place I hope to connect with my readers and let all of you have a place to chat with me directly. This was also the reason behind me creating the Stationary Brain Vacations Facebook page, as well. A close friend was generous enough to buy some temporary ad space on Facebook to advertise the page to increase traffic to it.

Overall, the point in creating the three pages at the same time is to increase my overall visibility. Anyone who finds any of the three can (and hopefully will) make their way to my Patreon to read my writing.

That's it. That's as far as I've made it. To be fair, though, I have only been working on these things since Jan 6, 2016 (the release date for my first post on Patreon) and in that time I finished moving into a new house, began my senior semester of college, and have been maintaining some semblance of a social life. That, however, is the subject for tomorrow when I'll be talking about balance between "work" (in quotations because I truly love all that I've been doing and it doesn't much feel like work), school, and life.

Do you all have any suggestions for me as I continue forward? What things have worked for you relating to starting out in a career field, steps to make it as a writer, and possible ways to increase visibility?

Writing Is the Easy Part!

Once upon a time in an elementary school in Eastern Kentucky, a fourth grade girl named Shannon stayed after in her English class, patiently waiting to speak to her teacher. In her hands she held a sheaf of twelve front and back pages of text, handwritten in a careful looping scrawl, every single "i" dotted with a heart. It was her first manuscript.

Now, Shannon understood that at nine years old it was unlikely she'd get this particular piece published -- It would be a risky venture for a business to put much stock in such a young person, and she was pretty sure that it might possibly violate some sort of laws -- but she knew she had to start somewhere. When the classroom was empty she plopped the work down on her teacher's desk excitedly.

"Will you read this and tell me what you think? I know it's not that great, yet, but it's not finished!"

Her teacher thumbed through the pages, careful not to dislodge the butterfly paperclip holding them together.

"Of course! I'm excited to see what my best student has written."

That beaming little girl was me, twelve years ago, and that teacher is the reason I am here today doing all that I can so that I can do what I love for a living. Even though that story, looking back, was genuinely terrible (a young girl magically gets transported back in time to a prehistoric era by a biscuit, which is promptly stolen by a tiny dinosaur) my teacher's feedback was overwhelmingly positive. She told me that what I was doing was wonderful and that, if I enjoyed it, I should pursue it. So here I am!

Very recently I began the ordeal of turning my writing hobby into (hopefully!) a career in writing. I launched a page on Patreon.com, started this blog, and have recently begun a Facebook campaign to draw attention to my cause and my goal as a means of generating traffic to the first two pages. After all of the years I have spent struggling with writer's block, my own personal pitfalls as a writer, and balancing my recreational and personal writing with my necessary, required school writing, I wouldn't have dreamed that all of that would be the easy part of this adventure! Until recently I didn't understand that the quality of the writing doesn't matter if the right people aren't reading it. In fact, content and quality both become moot when there is no audience for the work. Thus, the real challenge has begun.

I know that I am a good writer. I know that the more I write the better a writer I will become. My goal now is to work like a dog and truly get my foot through the door into the world of creative writing professionally. This blog is going to be my way of interacting with my readers more personally than I do elsewhere. I want my audience to know what's going on, how things are going, and where I am at in the process of getting started. It will also be a place for me to voice my personal concerns and struggles with certain aspects of the process, discuss the challenges faced, and to celebrate milestones with the community as they happen. It will also be an opportunity for my readers to get an inside look at how my creative process works.

In the words of Rudyard Kipling, "I am, by calling, a dealer in words; and words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." Take a trip with me, a vacation where you don't ever have to leave your own home. Come and experience with me the highs and lows of a grand adventure from the shadows of obscurity to the spotlight of publication.

The True Beginning

Every good story has a beginning, middle, and end, not necessarily in that order. This is my true beginning. I’ve been a writer for many years, but I'm not yet an author, though that has always been the ultimate goal. Now, I’m reaching out to you all and sharing my work outside of a classroom for the first time.

I am starting my journey here. I’ll post my writing and keep you all up to date on what’s happened, what’s going on now, and what’s coming up. Each week there will be new chapters of ongoing stories, random finished works, excerpts from works in progress, and even the occasional poem.

The world of professional writing is a hard one to break into, but I’m hoping that with your help I’ll be able to make it.